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- 2. You both talk about the future and see yourselves growing old together.;
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We have all been in relationships that we thought were going to last only to find that something was just not meant to be. Doubt and questions will always present themselves but truly meaningful connections will stand the tests of time. Have you found the perfect person for you? The perfect person for you is not going to be someone who jumps ship when things get hard. Your perfect person will help you keep the ship from sinking time and time again.
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If you are able to talk to this person about the future without them getting cold feet they might be in it for the long haul. The perfect person for you is not going to be someone who is afraid to speak about the things to come. The perfect person for you is someone you can communicate with. At some point I grew up and learned to let go of the crazy metaphor of romantic love in order to find true happiness. Yes, I was disappointed to realize that the knight riding through the night to save the damsel in distress is a fallacy.
Why stories like these make our hearts sing is that the love is unrequited. Unavailability fuels the romantic expression. This kind of romantic story can only work when there is an absence of the lover.
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Sometimes, they have to die in the end in order for their love to fit into this romantic view. Or, we eat handfuls of popcorn, waiting to see if they live happily ever after, and we rarely find out if they really do. The romantic love fantasy is really a substitute for intimacy—real, connected, vulnerable intimacy.
We begin with the understanding of what pure love is, and then redefine and update the romantic fairytale into a healthier type of love. Here are 10 ways to create true intimacy, find pure love, and be truly happy in your relationship:. The romantic tragedy occurs when you view the person you are in love with as a symbol of what they have come to represent, the idea of them. The key is to see the other as a mirror and learn from the reflection how you can be a better person.
When you feel upset, rather than blame your partner and point fingers, remain awake to what has yet to be healed in yourself.
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By feeling safe and secure to be on your own within the framework of relationship, you will feel more complete, happy, and whole. Some couples create separateness by fighting and then making up over and over again. This allows you to continue the romantic trance, creating drama and avoiding real intimacy.
True love only exists by loving yourself first.
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After the fairy-dust start of a relationship ends, we discover ordinariness, and we often do everything we can to avoid it. The day-to-day loveliness of sharing life with a partner can, and does, become extraordinary. One thing that unites us is that we all long to be happy. This happiness usually includes the desire to be close to someone in a loving way.
To create real intimacy, get in touch with the spaciousness of your heart and bring awareness to what is good within you. The unintentional outcome of loving others more deeply is that we are loved more deeply. You may look to things such as romance and constant togetherness to fill a void in yourself.
This will immediately cause suffering. You have to work at it just like anyone else. If you want them to last they are labor intensive. So many times marriage is good work. To start learning what you need to know about the intentional work of creating a great marriage, check out Choosing Marriage. Get busy learning what you need to know about healthy singleness, dating, and marriage. But good relationships will always require work.
You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.
No one wants to hear that marriage takes work. You can only get to the win by doing the work. Share Pin And so much more! Let's be email friends!
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